Justice and Revenge
by ShadowedBelief
Summary: Justice: The quality of being fair and reasonable the administration of the law or authority in maintaining this. Revenge: The action of hurting or harming someone in return for an injury or wrong suffered at their hands. But sometimes the line between Justice and Revenge become a little blurred.
1. Murder at Midnight

Chapter One

Phoenix woke up slowly and stretched, then turned to her alarm clock. The red numbers glowed eerily at her from her bedside table. 12:30 am. She frowned. What could have woken her up at this time of the morning? Phoenix was normally a very heavy sleeper, even her alarm didn't wake her usually. Her brother had to practically throw her out of bed to get her up in a morning. She groaned and rolled over, curling up again, determined to get some more sleep.

_If I still cant sleep in a bit I'll do some studying _She thought groggily. She'd only just put her books down as it was though and that thought didn't appeal much. Still, any revision she could do would help, even if she was half out of her mind from lack of sleep. She was halfway back to sleep when a gunshot made her sit up, the hair on her arms standing on end and her ears straining in the quiet that followed the noise. It sounded awfully loud to be from out on the street, but perhaps it was simply their next door neighbors car backfiring. The thing was on it's last legs as it was. She groped for the light switch on her lamp, using the red numbers of her clock to guide her, but decided she didn't need it when another shot rang out. Definitely not a car backfiring.

She scrambled out of bed and ran barefoot down the hall to her parents bedroom. It wasn't much of a distance, she'd only been a baby when they moved here, so her mum had wanted her as close to their bedroom as possible in case any thing went wrong. Nothing had but that, in her mothers words, was hardly the point. Closer now, she stopped running. Her breath caught in her throat as she inched up to the door of her parents room.

_The hinges don't squeak.. Push the door._ Someone was standing over her parents with a gun._ Two shots.. And the one that woke me.._ The head of said person whipped around to look at the door and she squeaked. It was supposed to be a scream, (how she wanted to scream) but the sound wouldn't come. It stuck in her throat threatening to choke her. She turned and ran.

_They can't be dead.. They can't be dead._ She told herself as she backed slowly away from the door. The shadow hadn't moved, it appeared to be listening.

"William!" Now the sound came. But not a scream, barely a hoarse hiss of breath between her teeth. She was being followed by a shadow. She didn't dare look back. She didn't dare look at the shadow that would kill her. Instead she ran down the hallway past her room, shoved her brothers bedroom door open and grabbed his shoulders to shake him. William would know what to do. Then she flinched away. By the moonlight from her brothers open curtains she could see red on her palm.

"William?" She backed out of reach of the bed, her eyes never leaving her brothers body. He could have been sleeping from the position he was in, but there was no tell tale rise of his chest from his breathing so she supposed it was just a fancy. Denial maybe. But that was the shot that woke her. The sound of her brother dying had woken her. She wished it hadn't. Dead.. Her parents and her brother were dead. Murdered. Her legs nearly buckled beneath her to drop her ungracefully onto the floor. Self preservation was all that made her grab the desk and hold herself up. She had to hide.

_Wardrobe.._ They were all dead. Heavy footsteps made her choice for her and she dove for the wardrobe, pulling it to behind her. She wrapped her arms around her knees and thanked her mothers genetics for making her small. At sixteen she was barely five foot four and she could fit in the wardrobe bottom with no issues. She looked up as a shadow blocked the moonlight through the gap in the door. It was male. She could see that now. The shadow was male with piercing red eyes. These eyes swept over her hiding place, leaving her feeling burned at the edges, and more vulnerable than ever, but he didn't appear to see her as he turned away, leaving her sitting on the floor of her dead brothers wardrobe, like she didn't even matter. She gasped for breath, the covered her mouth and listened intently, afraid he'd change his mind and check the room for her _kill her_, afraid he wouldn't and he'd leave her. She whimpered. His foot paused on the stairway and she whimpered again, hiding her face in her knees. But he didn't return, he just carried on. She didn't understand. But she knew he'd heard her. The front door slammed and he was gone.

It was a long time before she dragged herself to her feet and went downstairs. The numbers on the clock next to the phone glimmered 12:40 am sadistically at her as she lifted the phone to dial 999.

_This wasn't the kind of wrong my mother expected.._


	2. A friend InDeed

Chapter Two

"Did you see the man who killed your family?" Someone Phoenix didn't know was asking her. He'd told her his name before but she'd forgotten it. But then.. She seemed to remember him asking her that question before too.. She didn't really care either way, but the police man questioning her looked annoyed.

"Not really." She murmered eventually "It was dark.."

"Can you describe him for me?" He looked happy to have gotten somewhere finally.

_I didn't see.. I don't remember.. I was hiding.. So scared.._

"He had red eyes, and his hair might have been black, I dont know. It was dark." _He was a shadow and I was so scared.._ She didn't know enough to help them, and telling them he looked like a shadow would make her seem crazy. How could she tell this thirty year old police detective that he'd looked like a shadow? "I'm sorry." She dropped her head into her hands and felt tears slide down her face again. She could almost feel the pity radiating off the older man.

"Arrangements have been made." A female voice said gently. Clearly the male had decided he couldnt cope with a crying teenager. "You're to be sent to an orphanage after the funeral." Phoenix was vaguely aware that she'd nodded. That was to be expected, she had no other relatives. Her mother was an only child, and her fathers brother had died in a car crash four years previous. Her dad had been mildy upset, but all in all had decided he probably deserved it. He apparantly had a tendancy towards drink driving.

"Until then do you have any friends you can stay with?" Again she nodded. That wasn't a problem. She wasn't a girl without friends, she just didn't have many, and she could find someone to stay with.

"I'm an orphan.." She murmered. The female cop looked at her oddly, a mixture of pity and surprise, as if she wasn't sure what to make of her.

_Maybe she thinks I'm crazy. Crazy teenager._

"Would you like a lift?" She said eventually. Phoenix looked up at her, then lowered her face to stare at her knees again. The cop took this as a yes and told her she should get some clothes to take with her. "It's not warm enough to be going out in your pajamas. Remember what we said about the tape."

_As If I could forget._ But she just nodded then went upstairs to grab a bag. She threw some clothes into it, then she pulled her shoes out from under her bed. She'd been told she could come back after the funeral for anything she wanted. Once the crime scene had been properly processed. Normally they would do that before she collected clothes, but her DNA was everywhere anyway and it made no difference. That and the other rooms had been cordened off. On her way out she stood in front of her brothers door and shuddered. After she'd phoned the police they'd sent people that had removed the bodies of her parents and her brother from the house. She'd seen them carry them out in body bags, on stretchers. But if she closed her eyes she could see the shadow stood there with his gun, and there was still blood on the bedding. She cried out and sank to the floor, weeping.

It took them half an hour to get her to stop crying so much she couldnt speak, and another ten minutes to get her to leave the house.

True to her word, the cop gave her a lift to her best friends house. Sierra was one of the few people in school that could stand to talk to her. The others seemed to either find her too willing to learn, or seemed to think she was talking rubbish. Sierra met everything she said with a comment, an argument or a look of disbelief. And she always checked up on Phoenix's information before she believed any of it. Phoenix just hoped that Sierra's parents wouldn't mind taking her in for a while. Sierras parents weren't _strict_ per say, but they weren't fans of other peoples children. Considering her own experience with other people it didn't surprise her at all.

The police woman walked Phoenix to the door and she knocked on it. Sierra answered the door.

"Phoenix? I wasn't expecting to see you till college tomorrow" Then she saw the officer. "What's wrong?"

"Can we come in?" The cop asked. Sierra nodded mutley and gripped her friends arm. Then she led them to the living room.

"Mum? I think you should come in here." Sierra yelled. She looked to her friend. "Phoenix.. What's happened?" She asked gently. Phoenix shook her head. "Phoenix, what happened?" More forcefully this time. Phoenix just shook her head again, she clearly didn't want to talk about it. "Ok then. Is it ok If I take Phoenix up to my room whilst you talk to my mum?" The cop nodded and Sierra pulled Phoenix towards the stairs.

"Phoenix.. I know you don't want to talk about what happened but I really think you should." Sierra prodded gently. Phoenix had been sat with her knees pulled up to her chest on Sierras bed for nearly half an hour, and she was beggining to get worried. She'd just have to find out from her mum later.

"I.. Is it ok if I stay here?" Phoenix asked suddenly. Sierra looked up at her, surprised. Phoenix never stayed over at other peoples houses. Her parents wouldn't allow it. Not that they were over protective, they just didn't like her staying at other peoples houses. But then, Sierra suspected that partially it was Phoenix who just didn't _want_ to stay at other peoples houses. Just visiting made her nervous and twitchy.

"You can stay as long as you need to Phoenix." Sierra jumped. She hadn't even heard her mother come in. She looked over at her mother questioningly and her mother shook her head. "You can sleep on the sofa untill we can get a bed set up next to Sierra's."

"Thanks." Phoenix murmered. "They said arragements had been made, but I'm not sure where they're sending me."

"Phoenix.. I'm sorry." Phoenix nodded detachedly and lowered her head to her knees. A sob sounded and Sierra put an arm around her. Her mother shook her head sadly and mouthed "Later." at her daughter. She'd have to trust her mother to tell her when it suited.


	3. To England

**I should have said before, I took this down originally to mess with it because I decided I didn't like it and could definitley do better. I'm really sorry to anyone who is now reading this for a second time, but nothing from the plot has changed too much so if you don't want to read it again just skip to the end once I get the newer chapter loaded up. Thankyou so so much. I don't own deathnote or any of its characters.**

They say that when a loved one passes away, you stop feeling. That you block out all emotion and the days pass in a haze of colour and things you don't want to think about. For Phoenix this was not the case. She could think clearly, sometimes even about happier things than her life at the present moment (though not often), but her heart hurt. She felt as if someone had performed open heart surgery on her, but forgotten to administer painkillers and replace her heart when they were done. Where it had once been, there was now a gaping hole, bleeding into her chest. Her days passed slowly and she wished more than once that her families killer had killed her too. Better that than this half life.

The funeral was a farce and Phoenix found herself glad to be on the plane to England. She hated flying normally. She'd always hated it. She got air sickness and claustraphobic. And how on earth did these things fly anyway? But she'd had to get away from the service. The priest had no idea what her family was like, and had ignored her input completley. But she had stayed regardless. She refused to let someone elses ignorance drive her away from her last chance to speak to her family. Even if they could't speak back. She hadn't cried. The other well wishers had glared at her, whispered about her. But the tears just wouldn't come. Not even after everyone had gone and she was left sat between two new mounds of dirt. At least her parents had been buried together. She hoped they approved.

She had, however, gone back to the house. The tape was no-longer on the door so she was allowed to pass into the house, unchallenged, though terribley afraid. She crept up the stairs slowly then stopped at her brothers door. She closed her eyes then pushed the door open. Taking a deep breath she opened her eyes and looked into the room. They hadn't changed much. All that was missing was the bedding. She stepped forwards and ran her fingers over the desk her brother worked on. His homework was still on the desk, half completed. She had an irrational urge to correct the mistakes he'd made.. Tears pricked her eyes and she had to wipe them before she carried on feeling his stuff. She ran her hands over the clothes in his wardrobe then plucked his leather jacket from the rack. She hugged it to her then sank to the floor. This was his favourite item of clothing. He never went anywhere without it, but she'd selfishly wanted something of his to hang on to and he hadn't been buried in it. This time when she felt the tears start she let them out. She buried her head in Williams jacket and cried.

The cop had told her to get on this plane, and she'd be met at the airport in england by someone called Wammy. She assumed that was the person who owned the orphanage. As she took her seat she was wearing the three things she'd rescued from the house that weren't hers. Her mothers engagement ring, she didn't wear it anymore because it had gotten too big as she had lost weight so Phoenix had taken it from her jewellry box and tried it on impulsivley. She hadn't expected it to fit. Her brothers leather jacket didn't fit but it hung around her comfortingly and her fathers cross off the mantelpiece hung around her neck. He'd never worn it. He'd always said that God would know he believed just by looking into his heart. She wished she had that kind of faith every time he said it. She'd cried silently as she'd picked up each item, wishing she could take everything, however unrealistic that was. She'd also taken the picture of her with them all from the mantlepiece.

"Your first time travelling alone?" Phoenix looked up. One of the stewardesses was smiling at her. She nodded silently. "This must be so exciting for you. Are your parents waiting for you in England?" Phoenix shook her head. "Who is then?"

"No-one.." She wished the stewardess would just go away. "No-ones waiting for me." Tears threatened in her eyes and she turned her head to stare out of the window

The stewardess blanched and moved on, whispering, "I'm so sorry." as she went.

A voice that came over the tannoy not long after, reminding them to strap themselves in because they were about to take off. She'd buckled herself in as soon as she sat down, so she ignored it. Instead, she waited until they were safley in the air, then removed her jacket and laid it over her like a cover, before falling asleep.

She awoke sometime later with a kink in her neck. The stewardess from before touched her shoulder gently.

"We're about to land."

"Thankyou." She pulled her jacket back on, and buckled herself in, then proceded to check her things to make sure everything was present. It was. She nodded to herself then stared out of the window as the plane came in to land. This was the part she hated most. She scrunched her eyes closed and waited for the jolt of wheels touching asphalt. She bounced forwards slightly before the belt caught her and was momentarily glad she hadn't eaten anything. She stood shakily when told it was safe to do so and carried her handbag off the plane with her. She collected her luggage off the conveyer belt as it came around then went to sit on the benches lining the airport. Her guide would be here soon right? She stared at her knees, fighting the feeling of lonliness and loss that was threatening to overwhelm her.

"Phoenix?" A gentle voice asked. She looked up. An elderly man was looking down at her. She nodded. "I'm Watari. You we're told I would meet you." Phoenix nodded again.

"Yes.." She stood and held out her hand. "Pheonix Marnnet sir."

He smiled and shook her hand.

"Come with me." Phoenix nodded once more and followed behind him. She had nothing left to lose. If this person was a homocidal maniac, (something she doubted looking at him) and not Whammy as he claimed to be, then she would at least get to be with her parents.

_Probably not the healthiest frame of mind.._


	4. Organised Chaos

**I have no idea where Whammy House ****actually**** is, or what it looks like, so I've improvised. Sorry if that's not what it looks like.**

**I don't own Death Note. If I did, L would not be dead. Nor would Mello.**

Phoenix was glad that Watari didn't try to engage her in conversation. She really didn't feel up to it. She twirled the rosary around in her fingers and stared out of the window.

"Phoenix." Phoenix looked up, Watari was looking at her through the rear-view mirror. "When we get to the orphanage I recommend that you do not use your real name. No-one else does. It's for safety reasons. I' sure you can understand that."

"Oh.." Phoenix nodded thoughtfully. "Yes sir I understand" The idea of having to change her name saddened her. It felt as though she was severing the last connection to her dead family. She lowered her head to stare at her knees. Well, if it was a matter of safety she'd better do as he said. She looked back out of the window, lost in thought.

They'd long since left the built up city area, though Phoenix had no idea where they were going. She'd been surprised when they'd left the city. When people mentioned the word orphanage, she expected a dingy house in the city somewhere. But then again, the cop had only said 'England'. He'd never said where in England. She shook her head. It was beginning to hurt from all the considering and re-considering. She'd been thinking all the way here. Her brain felt like it was going to explode from all the unanswered questions. She put her head in her hands and closed her eyes. Maybe sleep would help.. But she wasn't sure she dared sleep. So far she'd been lucky. Her sleep had been unbroken by nightmares, apart from her first two nights staying at Sierra's house, but she wasn't sure her luck would hold out much longer. She laid her head against the window anyway and tried to sleep. It wasn't as hard as she thought it would be, despite the three hours of sleep she'd had on the plane, she was shattered.

She woke up as the car pulled to a stop. She stretched and yawned then looked out of the window. It was getting on towards being dark, but she could still see enough to see the 'orphanage'. Her jaw dropped.

_That's not an orphanage! That's a freaking PALACE! _She couldn't help herself. The place looked huge. It was definitely bigger than her school_. It looks like Hogwarts castle only less castle-y. _She opened the door and climbed out of the car to get a betetr view. _Word.._

"It's amazing.." She murmured. She looked over at Watari. "THIS is the orphanage?"

"This is Whammy house, yes." Phoenix studied his face, trying to discern if he was pulling her leg. "Shall we go get you settled in?"

Phoenix nodded mutely. She seemed to be doing a lot of that recently. She picked up her suitcase and her rucksack and followed Watari.

The inside of the orphanage was less impressive than the outside. The tiled floor and white washed walls. Very predictable. Clean and neat, rather like a museum, only less musty smelling. She made a mental note to look around later. It was predictable, yes. But interesting non the less.

Watari led up a few flights of stairs (She didn't count how many) and then down a corridor. Behind the doors she could hear people. Some snoring, some shuffling around as they got ready for bed, others (actually, only one (guess who)) cursing as some character on a game died. Watari stopped her a few doors over from that particular door and opened the door.

"This is your room." Phoenix stepped inside and looked around. It was painted in a similar fashion to the rest of what she had seen of the building. Only the walls were cream and not white. The floor was carpeted (beige) and a set of wooden drawers stood by the bed. There was a lamp on that, but other than that and the clock, there was nothing in the way of ornaments in the room. Phoenix liked it though. It was tidy. Her own room at h... The place she used to live had always been tidy. She'd prefered it to the organised chaos that was her brother's room.. That was the rest of the house if truth be told.

"unfortunately I have to go. If you need anything there are plenty of children on this floor that will be willing to point you in the right direction. Your lessons will start in a few days, so until then you are free to explore the building. There is no real curfew, but you do have to be in your room by 9pm. The time you go to bed is up to you, we leave it up to your better judgement." Phoenix smiled. She was usually in bed by ten anyway, so this bit of information, though useful, didn't bother her much.

"Thankyou." She said. "For all of this.."

He didn't answer. She turned around, but he'd already gone. She hung her head and went to shut the door. Then she dropped down on the bed and cried herself to sleep.

* * *

Phoenix breathed in sharply. This wasn't right. She wasn't supposed to be here, she was supposed to be in England. Why was she back in America? She walked up the staircase and down the hall, looking into Williams room as she went past. She didn't want to but she felt compelled to. There was blood on the sheets, but no shape of a body. Her breath caught in her throat and she turned away. She didn't want to look.. But her feet carried her forwards. Her parents room.. She fought the dream as her hand touched the cool metal of the door handle. But of course she opened the door. His piercing red eyes met hers, even in the gloom. He wasn't stood over the bodies of her parents this time though. He was sat on the end of their bed. He waved her forwards and her feet carried her towards him. He stood as she approached. When she stopped in front of him he leaned forwards to whisper in her ear.

"Your time will come."

* * *

Phoenix sat up in bed and opened her eyes. Then she shut them again. She'd forgotten to close the curtains last night.. She stumbled out of bed and yanked them shut, then slid to the floor and closed her eyes. She'd been right. Her luck hadn't held out. She was sure to be haunted by that dream, or ones similar to it for months now. She drew her knees up to her chest and laid her head in her arms.

"Why didn't you just kill me?" She wondered aloud. A knock on her door put paid to her musings. She stood slowly and answered it. "Yes?"

"You the new girl?" A red-head was stood at her door. How he could see her she had no idea, since he had his eyes trained on a Gameboy.

"Yes..." She said.

"Cool. I'm Matt. You are?"

_Damn.. I forgot to think up a name.. What should I tell him? I can't tell him my real name, Watari told me not to... Wait.._ She smiled briefly.

"Chaos." She said determinedly. _The same as the state of my old house. And my new life._ This made him look up. She was almost certain his eyes were blue but the yellow tint of his goggles made her second guess that judgement. He looked about her age. He also looked like he smoked, but he didn't smell like tobacco so she couldn't be sure on that count either. He studied her for a moment, in the same way she had studied Watari the night before, to see if she was joking. When he'd discerned that she wasn't he shrugged.

"Nice to meet you. You coming out?" Phoenix nodded. Despite the nightmare, she was still fully awake and itching to explore. "Cool. I'll wait for you out here while you get changed." He leant in and closed the door. Phoenix blinked.

_What a strange boy.. But then again, _She thought as she looked down at herself, _I must look insane._

The t-shirt and jeans she'd been wearing last night were the same as she'd worn for her families funeral three days ago and they were wrinkled and it was definitely time she got changed out of them. She'd need to wash them eventually.. But there was little point dong that today. There wasn't enough of it to make a full load in the washing machine and she wasn't going to randomly ask people for their washing so she could wash her stuff. She wasn't that desperate to have them washed. She rummaged through her stuff and picked out another black t-shit and her skinny jeans. Then she changed into her them and pulled on the leather jacket. She'd left her mothers engagement ring on her ring finger the night before, along with her fathers rosary, but she'd have to remove them tonight so they didn't get lost or, in the case of the rosary, break. She folded the discarded clothes neatly and put them on top of the cabinet to remind herself that they needed washing, then made her bed. She would need to find a bathroom so she could wash her face and clean her teeth, but she'd do that after breakfast. Assuming she hadn't slept through it. She frowned as she went back to the door. She opened it to what sounded like an argument.

_Oh dear... _She thought as she stepped out into the hall. She looked around and found the source of the commotion. A blond teen was throwing something down the corridor. She caught it just before it hit her then stood looking dumbly down the corridor.

"It's like a mad house..." She mumbled.

"Isn't it though?" Phoenix looked around. Matt was stood behind her. "I'd hide that from Mello's view if I were you. He's already annoyed and if he thinks your going to give that back to Near.. Well.. Just hide it yeah?"

Phoenix nodded and shoved the robot into her pocket.

"Can I meet Near then? Even if Mello isn't going to like it I have to give him the toy back."


End file.
